Happy Family
by Yui Alfie
Summary: What do you think will happen when you put together FF VII characters , OCs, FF vs. XIII Noctis and fangirls? So there it is-... inspiration came from real life - almost xD . Why is it strong T rated? 'cause of language n maybe themes. Reno x OC; Noctis x OC and maybe later some light yaoi - but not now! MUHAHAHH :D summy sux, we know x.x


_**5.00 AM**_

One day, when sun was shining like crazy, wind was on holiday and temperature about 40° wasn't anything unusual; one person (who we don't name ) had an idea about cleaning "little" cute pool. And now, our story begins...

_**6.00 – 7.30 AM**_

"I'm goin' to kick his ass!" these words were also heard from randomly chosen volunteers. Some of them still in pyjamas and asleep were lugging their bodies toward to pool.  
"Mooommy, I want my cocoa!" *sniff* Zack whined.  
"Don't bother me with Mother!" Sephiroth shrieked at him.  
"Shut up both of you!" Genesis said.  
Rufus was already waiting next to pool with smile like Michael Jackson (seriously don't ask!); with cleaning detergents and tools. When he saw little group coming he smiled even more.  
"Hello my dear friends!" He greeted happily.  
Everyone was looking at him with killing intentions, but he didn't care a bit.  
"Why did you call us?" asked Angeal in pyjamas.  
"You are chosen ones to clean my awesome pool, you will make me happy and maybe I will increase your salary." Rufus smiled.  
"REALLY?!" someone shouted from crowd.  
"No! So get to the work!"  
"Do it yourself!" Zack mumbled, while Rufus was leaving.  
"By the way, who is not going to work is not going to get his salary! " Rufus said with face of an angel.  
"NOOOOOOOO! It is unfair! " Zack was crying.  
" Don't complain you are soldier, just face it with honour! " said Angeal, taking detergent to his hands.  
"Yes I'm going to have more honour because of cleaning pool! " Zack.  
"shut up and clean!" the rest of group shrieked at him.  
"ok, what ever…" *seen the pool* "WTF?! It looks like life stream! " O.o  
*Vincent is leaving*  
"Hey! What do you think you are doing? " Angeal wanted to know.  
"I'm leaving, obviously….."  
"What? We need to clean it! "  
"Me? Not! "  
"I will give you my salary! "  
"NO. Not a chance…."  
"Ok just stay here. We won't tell on you anything. Right, guys? "  
*Genesis looked like someone kicked his dick….*  
*Zack looked like he ate lemon*  
*Sephiroth smiled gently* - Run, Vincent, run if you can! Yet...  
*Cloud – don't give a damn*  
Angeal assumed to take out dead insect from water, which looked like life stream.  
Everyone started to work but after a while Genesis said: " I'm going to encourage you! I'll read-"  
"NOOOO! Not LOVELESS again…. "  
"You don't understand the beauty of this poem and literature! " he turned his back, insulted.  
"I understand! But I'm not going to fall asleep and drown in pool full of life stream with dead insect! I know better ways how to die, believe me! " Sephiroth chuckled.  
"Yes... For example: to jump into the reactor with cut head of something what was maybe woman once in the past, sorry, it looked like hermaphrodite. " Genesis mumbled.  
"Don't insult my Mother! "  
"Mother?! " three silver heads peeped out of trees.  
"Fuck your Mother! " Reno run at balcony.  
"Go back! It's not your time, yet! " Alfie pulled Reno back to room with big bed. *nothing naughty*  
*everyone looked at balcony but didn't see anything*  
"OK, just leave them! "  
Kadaj smiled, what cause other people to react as if someone pour to pool an acid.  
Zack jumped at Angeal in tight hug. Genesis slipped and almost fall down and drown. Sephiroth smiled back. Cloud leave to other side of pool and continued to clean pool.  
" Where is our Mother? We know you hide her. " said Kadaj  
" Do you mean that thing with cut head? " asked Genesis  
"Did you say something? "Kadaj got his best rape face.  
"N-N-Nothing….." Genesis - going to Cloud.  
Angeal, who turned almost blue from insufficient oxygen, supply: " We will help you find your mother, if you help us to clean this 'little' pool. "  
Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz agreed... And guess what? Real fun... is about to begin!

_**9.00 Am**_

One and half hour wasn't anything happening until:  
"Hello, guys! "  
"Ohayooo minna-saan" ^^  
Noctis and Shiki arrived. Everyone gaped at them in way :'what the hell are you doing' here? You're not even from this final fantasy!' (Shiki and Alfie aren't even from FF they are OC)  
"Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….." fan girls  
"OMG! He brought with himself even fan girls!" Genesis tried to throw him into pool. He was stopped by countless number of swords and spears, etc.  
"Got a problem?! " Noctis smiled "by the way I haven't brought them. They were peeping on those three silver head idiots. When they came out asking for mother, or what in the hell it was , these fan girls just took their place behind shrubs. Remnants brought fan girls here..." explained bored Noctis.  
"Where is Alfieee? ^^"  
"We don't care. As long as she isn't there it is fine!" Said rest of group in pool.  
"She is abusing Reno…." Kadaj said while he was scuba diving in life stream.  
"I'm NOT! " Alfie jumped on Kadaj's head and out of the pool.  
"Hiii :) " Alfie greeted.  
Reno went to balcony and started giving orders, showing every little filth in pool, which remained there. Fortunately he was at the balcony, because if not so…He would end up drown in pool.  
Genesis thrown a LOVELESS book at Reno, but book fell apart above the pool and ended up in life stream water. Genesis almost died from a shock. "YOU! "  
"Nani? What about me? " Reno didn't understand.  
"You destroyed my book! "  
" You threw it at me! " opposed Reno  
Genesis took out the sword. Sephiroth tried as well, but he couldn't, his sword stuck in because of length. (haha, who was pervet right now? :D)  
Reno and the others almost died of laughter. Cloude - facepalm.  
"How could YOU have defeated me? " Genesis.  
Sephiroth would rather be in the seventh circle of hell than here-…  
His sword fell of the scabbard and was corroded. Reno fell over the balcony right on his mouth and Genesis was laughing so much that he fell to his beloved book. They were swimming together in that sympathetical pool with interesting color. Sephiroth was bright red – who knows? Maybe from anger, maybe from humiliation. He returned to his work. But Genesis wasn't satisfied, he got out of the pool grabbed Reno's ponytail and threw him into pool. "Take THIS! For my book"  
"Thankx Goddess for Genesis' destroyed LOVELESS!" Someone from the pool said.  
"Who was that?! "  
"No one, just wind...!" laughed Zack nervously.  
Noctis accidentally pushed Genesis to pool. "I'm sorry..."  
Water around Genesis started to boil. (fire materia)  
"Oh shit…. I think we made him angry..."  
"You THINK?! O.o"  
Random yaoist (of fan girls crowd) threw doujinshi at Genesis. Of course, with him and Septhiroth as "an action couple".  
Genesis looked at it... He got red than blue and calmed down... And then... He gave the book to Sephi.  
Sephiroth summoned new sword and started to chase fan girls. Meanwhile , everyone was smiling at manga.

"I think that doujinshi is quite good, right Shiki? " Alfe was waving with manga above her head and then she throw it at Shiki, because Genesis was trying to destroy that masterpiece. Shiki had to hide behind Nictis, to have any chance to read it. After 5 minutes, while Noctis was keeping Genesis busy, Shiki said: " I want to see this in reality! *_*"  
Reno wanted to see the manga too, so he got out of the pool but accidentally bumped into Genesis and Sephiroth, who were trying to catch and kill Shiki and fan girls. They ended up in camasutra pose. (We have no idea how this finfic will turn out! – Alfie&Shiki)  
Tseng went to the balcony to call Reno because of boss's orders and saw them – in that ehmmmm... Weird position.  
"Ehmm-… RENO! Sorry for disturbing you... But Boss wants to meet you! " Alfie was immediatelly next to him and poking him *tseng-tseng-tseng-tseng*-. Shiki was taking over one million of photos and videos of Sephi x Genesis x Reno! Approximately after 10 minutes everything got calm and Alfie with Shiki went inside the house, at unknown circumstances.

_**12.00 AM**_

Alfie was calling from window at 1st floor. "We have lunch for youuuu! "  
Fan girls: " Don't gooo! We have lunch, too! "  
"Gentlemen! RUUUUUN! " Angeal shouted  
As long as they didn't get inside fan girls were chasing them like animals.

"Alfie brought us soup and it looks tasty! " said Cloud happily.  
"Oh my god! JESUS! Don't eat it, guys! Alfie can't cook! " Reno poured the soup on the flower.. after 5 sec flower died. " Ya see? There is a prove! "  
"Renooo! " Alfie started to cry. " You are being rude to me! Again! No sex tonight!"  
"I knew it! " Kadaj got 20€ for winning bet with Zack.  
"Reno! Aren't you a gay? Seriously, aren't you? " Vincent was standing in corner of room like a ghost.  
"No, I'm not! "  
"But I saw you with Rude on youtube. " *Alfie – dead glare*  
"Ehem Vincent you are gay according to what you said now-…" Reno  
"No.. " pointed finger at opposite corner of room with fan girls showing laptop screen with youtube on. " You can see it, right? "  
"Jkgvjhbsdfvkjnasdfkvjnfakljv blafgvakjf!" Reno  
"Have you got something that Alfie didn't cook? " asked Cloud Shiki. He had just faint hope, but... It was HOPE!  
"Nyu ^^ Of course she has been doing soup and cake and I have been doing ehmm you will see and icecream ;) ! " responded Shiki.  
"Don't worry you will be able to eat it. She can cook. " said Noctis. Shiki smiled confidentaly.  
Shiki brought a lunch and everyone was happy. Maybe Alfie was sad and Reno a bit depressed, you know why. After lunch Shiki and Alfie cleaned up the table than disapeared in kitchen for while. After some time they brought ice cream.  
Reno whispered to Sephiroth "I have nothing to loose I will ask. " reno turned at Alfie "Darling? Were you preparing this tasty thing? " asked with angel face.  
Alfie was cleaning her Trident. "What did you ask, Reno?"  
"Nothing!" he piped.  
Shiki: " It was my work! "

_*after icecream*_  
Guys tried to stand up. Cloud fell down on floor. Zack tried to catch him but instead of catching him, he threw down Angeal. Genesis started to repeat poem from his slumber. Sephiroth tried to kill Genesis with suasage while shouting 'I'll kill you Cloud!'. Reno tried to rape Alfie *she was still ignoring him*, so Shiki kicked his balls saying : 'At night NOT NOW!'. Noctis had a glass of wine. Remnants were playing that they're train, repeating : ' Where are you mother?'. Vincent was dancing caramel dance. Tseng was playing with Sephis' hair.  
"What was that from? What did you do Shiki? That ice cream... " Asked Zack with BIG problems with articulation.  
"Emmm-… home made 60% vodka + jam + random kinds of ice cream + chocolate + peanuts+ etc…. I don't know Alfie was preparing everything I brought only alcohol" She said with angelic face. ^^

Everyone was almost dead. You are asking why? After this they've got temperatures about 40 ° caused by too much food and alcohol and vapours of Alfie's food and detergents. (Alfie: "HEY! My cooking isn't that BAD!", Shiki: "No, of course not, dearie...^^" ") But that's not the end... Not now...

_**Kya! The end of 1st part of 1st chapter ;)**_


End file.
